Without heists, Grand Theft Auto Online introduced large-scale multi-stage missions involving two to four players working together to pull off major criminal jobs. In 2015, players waited nearly two years for Rockstar to add five of these missions. More heists have been added since then, and they’ve become some of the game’s most common things to do. Here’s every heist from worst to best on GTA Online.
A few things to remember about this list: I’m not factoring in how much these heists payout to begin with. Depending on difficulty, payouts will vary whether you pull off any elite challenges, and whether you take damage and how you break the take. Instead, based solely on how much fun I had playing them and how cool they made my friends and I feel, I ranked these heists.
Humane Labs Heist
You have to sneak into a facility at night in this heist, stealthily take several guards out and then steal a van. Every time I do this mission, at some stage we mess up and have to start over. It’s not fun to learn where guards are and secretly pick them off. The stealth mechanics of GTA Online are bad. Luckily, it’s much simpler for the rest of the setup missions and some are even a bit of fun. Most of them are just “Go here, kill and take something,” but every day I’m going to take that over sneaking.
During a set-up mission where you have to steal some jets from an aircraft carrier, the real standout mission in this heist, and one of my favorite moments in GTA Online, happens. The game “Highway To The Dangerzone” is played on the radio after you kill a bunch of guards, fight your way to the jets and leave. It is hilarious to escape in jets and battle off enemy pilots while that song plays. I wish moments like this included more heists.
I’ve played this at least thrice, if not more, every heist on GTA Online, except for Prison Break. The setup missions are not nice, particularly the one that asks you to get away from the cops by stealing a prison bus. The real heist is just breaking some dude out of jail, and it’s annoying.
Two players have to sneak in, disguised as an inmate and a guard. Their cover gets blown, no matter what these players do. The exposed players have to brace for waves of constantly spawning guards and police until this happens, while the other players are trapped in the air waiting for flying cars, unable to help. Military jets spawn and attempt to kill the two players in flight. The one in the plane has no weapons and has to rely entirely on the other player to defend them by flying a weaponized heli. Sucks it.
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There are already GTA players in the comments moaning about my choice here, I ‘m sure. I get it: this sounds like it shouldn’t be the number one heist on paper. With just two players, it’s a work, it has some basic setup missions, it doesn’t pay out great and it’s free. But of all the work, I’ve done most of this one. This is what I like the most from GTA Online.
I like the actions of GTA Online that feel like real crimes that could happen in our country. I love how concentrated this heist is and how it forces you and your partner to work together effectively. When one of you drives to the tiny branch, the other uses a device to hack the security systems of the branch. One player drills into the vaults once inside the bank, while the other player is monitoring the hostages and keeping an eye out for police. And it’s tense. I’ve played a lot of times, and someone still yells and accuses the other person for screwing up. Since you only need two people, getting together and playing is much simpler than heists that need larger groups.
Series A Funding
The ending cutscene featuring Trevor is the best part of this largely forgettable heist. The whole heist is just robbing Trevor of some drugs and then helping him protect them before attempting to sell them to a shady dude. There’s one nagging stealth mission involving bikers, but it’s less time-consuming and tricky than Humane Labs’ stealth mission.
You and your crew are involved in the majority of the setup missions, stealing drugs from frat boys and rival gangs. Players who invade a huge yacht and flee on jet skis are involved in stealing the coke from the frat boys. (Tip: Carry some armor with your body.) You’re also stealing a garbage truck, which is a little dumb, but fun.
Diamond Casino and Resort Heists
Technically, there are a couple of different ways to hit GTA Online’s newly added casino. Each technique has numerous barriers and goals. For example, using the “Silent & Sneaky” method, you can try to steal the spot, sneaking in through a few different entry points and trying to remain undetected while you catch the loot and flee. Or you can try the option of “Violent” and just go blazing with guns, blow up the vault, and escape. — of these alternatives plays differently enough that in one position they can almost seem like three distinct heists.
Via prep missions, you can also extend these options. There are small missions in other, older heists that work close to the setup missions. They are done and some of them are optional in the free mode of GTA Online.
For instance, you can use it during the sly heist option to switch off all the lights to safety features for a minute if you do the optional prep mission that allows you to steal an EMP, which can be a very powerful advantage. A great way to enjoy the GTA Online experience is the microtransactions from Eldorado.gg.