Is it possible to build relationships in the era of “Hesi-Dating?”

A few years ago, the concept of Hesi-Dating did not exist in principle. It was introduced by specialists from the dating service, Plenty of Fish. It turned out that this has become a common phenomenon in the modern world.

Hesi-Dating is a feeling of complete indifference to dates and a person’s uncertainty about whether he or she wants to start a relationship.

Today, according to Plenty of Fish, about 70% of single people are not sure they want a relationship or are ready to open up to new people entirely. The reason for this phenomenon, as you might guess, was the coronavirus and other global upheavals. Many contemporaries had a strong sense of the uncertainty of their own lives due to this fact. In their hearts, they felt like there is no hope for the future, so there is no need to think about having a serious relationship. It is a situation that many contemporaries seek to understand without finding answers.

How to recognize a “hesidater” and not waste time communicating in vain

Online dating is always a game of roulette. You can never know what kind of person is on the other side of the screen, what their communication goals are, and whether your relationship has a chance to develop. It often happens that someone communicates with a hesidater, but does not even know about it. You can make some plans of your own, dream of meeting offline as soon as possible, and plan a happy life together.  might turn out that the interlocutor has a completely different perception of your communication, and they do not intend to start a serious relationship at all. The result turns out to be a wasted one and could lead to frustration.

To prevent this from happening, we want to share some tips with you on how to recognize a hesidater right away and not waste time in vain:

1. A person in every possible way avoids a real meeting and constantly finds some excuses. For many, the transition from online to offline communication format is too serious and seems to be a responsible step. Allegedly, it immediately speaks of affection and the need for further development of relations. Usually, hesidaters are not ready for this, so they try to use every opportunity to refuse a real-life meeting.
2. A new acquaintance who has changed plans several times in a row at the last moment. It would seem that you finally agreed to go to a cafe or at least communicate in a video chat, but suddenly the interlocutor cancels everything. If this happens once, it’s not a big deal because situations are different. However, when this is repeated over time, it is worth considering whether to continue communicating or not.
3. The interlocutor reluctantly answers serious questions and tries to turn everything into a joke. For them, excessively serious and frank communication is a sign of growing affection. Subsequently, they try to avoid this attachment. Serious conversations, as a rule, do not lead to anything at all with such an attitude.
4. You have to wait for a long time for them to respond to your messages. Of course, sometimes the interlocutor may miss your messages or be busy — this is normal. However, if you see them showing up online but stubbornly ignoring you and then responding after a long time, they’re probably a hesidater and don’t want to get attached to you.
5. The person rarely makes contact first. They will never write or call first, and will not ask how you are doing, or how your day went. In general, they rarely ask something, but only answer your questions in a shallow manner. Such “one-sided” conversations are exhausted very quickly.

The problem with hesi-dating is that it has become a mass phenomenon. Given the fact that communication on the Web in most cases begins with texting, it is very difficult to identify a hesidater at first. You end up wasting your, hoping for progress in that relationship, yet it turns out that your new acquaintance has completely different goals.

What to do and how to build healthy relationships in the era of Hesi-Dating? We have an answer!

Use online videochat for dating!

Random videochat is a site or application that connects random interlocutors via video, allowing you to communicate on various topics and get to know each other better in a minimum amount of time. However, this platform does not guarantee you complete “protection” from hasidaters either. At least, it helps to identify them faster and not waste your own time.

Omegle was the first video chat in history (closed in 2023). The site was simple, minimalistic, and user-friendly. There was a language filter, as well as a search for interlocutors by interests. Omegle had a large and active audience, but it possessed extremely mediocre moderation and rather limited functionality compared to other resources. In addition, Omegle did not have a mobile app, which was a big inconvenience.

Let’s take a look at a few online video services that we recommend:

CooMeet

This is an Omegle alternative that connects men only with girls and never makes a mistake in choosing the gender of the interlocutor because every girl at registration must verify her data properly. This Omegle with girls has no fakes or bots, a good moderation service, a high level of privacy and security, and functional mobile apps. The only caveat is that it’s a paid service. Nonetheless, there is a free trial period for all new users — give it a try!

Ome.TV

Omegle TV is a simple and minimalistic video platform with gender and language filters. It is available on the web and as a phone app. The main feature of this Omegle alternative is a built-in message translator, which simplifies communication with foreigners. The disadvantages include its limited functionality and low moderation.

Chatrandom

In general, this is a classic online video chat, but with one very interesting feature. We are talking about chat rooms — thematic “rooms” where like-minded people gather and communicate in a large company. This form of communication is liked and appreciated by active and sociable people. It also has a negative side — they rarely look for a couple for a serious relationship. Usually, in chat rooms, they just get acquainted and talk with like-minded people, without having far-reaching plans.

Chatous

Chatous is an application that combines online videochat and classic messenger with the ability to share media files. Chatous is good because it can replace your communication in the messenger. On the other hand, for many, such functionality is not needed, and after they meet, they prefer to transfer the dialogue to more familiar platforms — WhatsApp, Viber, Telegram, and so on.

Let’s summarize!

Hesi-Dating is indeed a massive post-COVID problem. Hence, we have to fight it with our own forces. If you are set for serious and promising online dating, the first thing you need to do is make sure that your interlocutor is set up the same way.

If you encounter a hesidater, it is often better not to try to convince him — you will only waste your time. Nonetheless, there are exceptions, but in most cases, attempts to build a relationship with such a person end in disappointment. Therefore, try to identify hesidaters as early as possible, and your life will become much easier!